FW: Fw : Fw : Fw: 两个韩国哥们被郭德刚的相声气疯了！

 两个韩国哥们被郭德刚的相声气疯了！

                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
  今天我把郭德岗的相声"韩国学艺"传给汉语系的两个韩国牛哥，他们看了脸都青   
  了，搞不懂为什么平时牛气冲天的大韩民国，为什么开始被中国人讨厌。还自我感 
  觉良好呢。                                                               
                                                                           
  这相声段子，好多论坛都有，哈，看来深得人心，兄弟们努力转贴。             
  再贴一遍，我看了n遍，越看越有趣。                                        
                                                                           
  郭德岗最新相声：韩国学艺！                                               
                                                                           
  轩农：兄弟，好些日子没见你了，最近忙什么呢？                             
                                                                           
  郭德岗：呦，老哥你好，我这些日子出国玩了几天。                           
                                                                           
  轩农：到哪个国家？                                                       
                                                                           
  郭德岗：一个大国。                                                       
                                                                           
  轩农：大国？                                                             
                                                                           
  郭德岗：恩，大国,老大老大了.                                             
                                                                           
  轩农: 有多大?                                                            
                                                                           
  郭德岗: 人家所有科学家加起来研究说,好像已经世界最大.                     
                                                                           
  轩农: 最大? 俄罗斯?                                                      
                                                                           
  郭德岗: 不是~~~~~．                                                      
                                                                           
  轩农：难道加拿大了～～．                                                 
                                                                           
  郭德岗：哎~~ ~~~~                                                        
                                                                           
  轩农: 对了?                                                              
                                                                           
  郭德岗: 也不是.                                                          
                                                                           
  轩农:不是你哎什么? 那是哪个国家?                                         
                                                                           
  郭德岗: 大韩民国.                                                        
                                                                           
  轩农:大韩民国？　面积不大阿，怎么个大国呢？                              
                                                                           
  郭德岗：你瞧人家地图上"大韩民国"这几个字，瞧瞧！　大"字"在中国，"国"字在 
  日本．人家的版图都不够用，你说大不大．                                   
                                                                           
  轩农：咳，这样大阿？　说明地方太小了，字（自）大一点，站不下他了．       
                                                                           
  郭德岗，轩农：　哈哈！！                                                 
                                                                           
  轩农：你到韩国去干什么了？                                              
                                                                           
  郭德岗：学习相声！                                                       
                                                                           
  轩农：学习相声？                                                        
                                                                           
  郭德岗：恩，学相声．                                                     
                                                                           
  轩农：韩国也有相声吗？                                                  
                                                                           
  郭德岗：恩，有，不但有，好像被人家所有科学家加起来研究说，相声是人家发明 
  的！                                                                     
                                                                           
  轩农：．．．．．                                                         
                                                                           
  郭德岗：到了韩国，我有了危机感．                                         
                                                                           
  轩农：什么危机感？                                                       
                                                                           
  郭德岗：我们的发明太慢了，太落后了．如果韩国人继续这样奋发努力的发明下   
  去，有一天全世界都会落在韩国后面．                                       
                                                                           
  轩农：真有这么玄乎吗？　什么发明?                                        
                                                                           
  郭德岗：恩，有，韩国人发明了一种把别人的一切好东西说成是自己的发明．     
                                                                           
  轩农：咳～～　那算什么发明？　不就是脸皮厚吗？                           
                                                                           
  郭德岗：你没听说韩国风行美容阿，脸皮都不是一层.                          
                                                                           
  轩农：相声学得怎么样？找哪位大师教的?                                    
                                                                           
  郭德岗:很有收获. 老师也见了一位.                                         
                                                                           
  轩农: 哪位老师?                                                          
                                                                           
  郭德岗: 朴吆联老师.                                                      
                                                                           
  轩农: 什么? 朴吆联?                                                      
                                                                           
  郭德岗: 朴piao 二声朴吆联.                                               
                                                                           
  轩农:奥～～"别要脸"老师．                                                
                                                                           
  郭德岗：对，对，嘿嘿，后来我就是这么叫他的．                             
                                                                           
  轩农：都学了些什么，说说看．                                             
                                                                           
  郭德岗：那可老了，什么都学，什么地理历史，文化考古．讲什么我学什么．     
                                                                           
  轩农：正好，你跟大家汇报一下．                                           
                                                                           
  郭德岗：好，面对这么多热心观众，我就把我的学习经历汇报一下．别让团里领导 
  觉得我白花国家钱，出国去什么没学到．                                     
                                                                           
  轩农：就是．说说看，韩国老师都教你什么了．                               
                                                                           
  郭德岗：朴老师头一天见我就说："郭，你来到韩国有什么感受？"               
                                                                           
  郭德岗：很亲切，很亲切．像来走亲戚．                                     
                                                                           
  朴：恩，是不是很羡慕？　我们不在乎你们这个穷亲戚，多来看看我们的大韩国． 
  从釜山到３８线开车要好几个小时．                                         
                                                                           
  郭德岗：老师，我们习惯了，中国人从广东开车到东北要走好几天．             
                                                                           
  朴吆联老师睁大眼睛张大嘴半天不说话，最后定了定神说：中国沿海在历史上也是 
  我们大韩国的领土．                                                       
                                                                           
  郭德岗说：老师，我家就住在沿海，我爷爷没给我讲过，我爷爷的爷爷也早就在这
  里住着，也没听说哪个村里有过韩国人．隐约听我爸爸说过，前街二大爷祖上有人 
  缺心眼走失了，后来听人说他跑到韩国了．                                   
                                                                           
  朴吆联开始生气了：郭，你知道吗？　据我们的科学家加起来研究，中国人的大部 
  分领土和发明都是我们韩国人的．                                          
                                                                           
  郭德岗气道：大爷的．怎么成你们韩国的了？　我们中华民族有很悠久的历史．发 
  明的东西多了去了．                                                       
                                                                           
  朴吆联：我们的更悠久．我们的泡菜有几百年历史．                           
                                                                           
  郭德岗：我们的好多菜零头都不止几百年了．                                 
                                                                           
  朴吆联：印刷术是韩国人发明的，有一千多年了．                             
                                                                           
  郭德岗：彻！　印刷术是中国发明的，这地球人都知道，还有造纸和火药，这些个 
  发明都有两千多年历史了．                                                 
                                                                           
  朴吆联：还是我们的历史长，我们的历史比你们５０００年的长．               
                                                                           
  郭德岗：我们的长，５０００年指得是黄帝他老人家统一中原．可不是说中国的历 
  史只有５０００年．                                                       
                                                                           
  朴吆联：我们的檀君几千年前教过大禹治水．                                 
                                                                           
  郭德岗：我听我爷爷讲，大禹治水是因为他爹鲧治水的时候只知道堵，后来洪水到
  处泛滥失职受罚，大禹吸取经验改堵为疏．怎么成了你们祖上檀君教的了？大概你 
  们祖上就在大禹跟班，后来跑韩国了．这么说，还是我们的历史长．             
                                                                           
  朴吆联越来越激动：我们的祖先８０００年前从帕米尔高原一路创造了红山，黄河 
  文明，是我们祖先创造了中华文明．郭，我们的才是祖师爷．你懂吗？           
                                                                           
  郭德岗怒气冲天：你大爷的，你们的祖先从帕米尔高原８０００年就是不吃饭不拉
  屎，能走到韩国的也是孙子的孙子们了．爷爷们都留在中国，早就是中国人了，这 
  样看来还是我们是祖师爷．                                                 
                                                                           
  朴吆联大骂道：我们的祖先有１万年的文明．还是我们的历史久远．我们还有     
  ........                                                                 
                                                                           
  郭德岗横眉冷对：好了，你什么都别说了，我们周口店的猿人老祖宗距今已经有７
  ０万年了，够大吧？等你们的科学家加起来把６０万年的亏空给补上了你再说吧． 
                                                                           
  朴吆联：７０万年？　啊，我的天啊，真的？                                
                                                                           
  郭德岗：７０万年还不够你够臭屁的阿？                                    
                                                                           
  朴吆联惊慌失措的，颤颤巍巍的说：那要叫我们的科学家加起来研究一下看看北京 
  猿人是不是我们韩国猿人祖先教的？                                         
                                                                           
  不过这之前还是先叫我们的科学家加起来研究一下韩国猿人在哪里？好了，郭．我
  们不说这些了，说了你也不懂．你不是来韩国学习说相声吗？知道相声是韩国人发 
  明的吗？                                                                 
                                                                           
  郭德岗：我就是来学学，看看相声怎么就成了韩国人发明的了．                 
                                                                           
  朴吆联：你们中国人叫韩国人什么?                                          
                                                                           
  郭德岗疑惑的看着说: 棒子!                                                
                                                                           
  朴吆联：对,棒子有个"木"子旁，旁边的"目" 是一只眼.........                
                                                                           
  郭德岗：奥，我知道了，就是说被你们看上的就是你们的了？                  
                                                                           
  朴吆联：哇！　聪明啊，郭．你没白来韩国，这么快就学到了韩国人的发明.      
                                                                           
  郭德岗：佩服,佩服!                                                       
                                                                           
  朴吆联：郭,跟我学有什么收获吗?                                           
                                                                           
  郭德岗：别要脸老师,从您身上我得出一个道理. 我们的科学家出不了韩国这样的研
  究成果，是因为他们加起来也不如韩国一个人的脸皮厚